Finding the Doors in Menopause: When Life Pushes You, Walk Through Anyway

For many women, menopause feels like a never-ending storm. Between the hot flashes, sleepless nights, mood swings, and the sense that your body is suddenly unfamiliar, it’s easy to feel like menopause is something to survive — not an opportunity.

If you’re reading this while you’re knee-deep in symptoms, I get it. The last thing you want to hear is someone chirping about how menopause is a beautiful transformation or a magical new beginning. When you’re exhausted, anxious, or feeling like a stranger in your own skin, the word “opportunity” feels like a cruel joke.

But I want to invite you to sit with this idea — not because I’m here to sugarcoat menopause, but because I’m living proof that even in your darkest moments, there are doors waiting for you. And if you’re willing to walk through, what’s on the other side might surprise you.

My Story: From Emotional Hell to Halle Berry

The past year and a half tested me in ways I never saw coming. It wasn’t just the usual midlife stuff — it was emotional hell — I felt like I was drowning. I reached a point where giving up felt easier than continuing to fight.

In those moments, I believed I had no control. My body was rebelling, my emotions were all over the place, and the external forces around me felt like they were closing in. That’s when my village — the women who know me best — stepped in.

They reminded me of something I tell my own clients all the time: You may not control what happens to you, but you always control how you respond. One friend, in particular, gave me a gift of wisdom I’ll never forget:

“Hire the people who can handle the chaos. Let them fight the battles. Your energy is too valuable to waste on what’s outside your control. Use that energy to do what you do best — help others.”

It was a lightning bolt moment. I stopped fighting the battles I couldn’t win and started looking for the doors — the places where I could step into my own power. And guess what? One of those doors swung wide open.

During the hardest time of my life, I was invited to join a startup whose mission aligned perfectly with mine — a company dedicated to changing the conversation around menopause. That company turned out to be Respin, and the founder? None other than Halle Berry.

Stepping through that door didn’t just change my path —it led me to something I never could have imagined — becoming Halle Berry’s menopause coach.

It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t a fluke. It was the result of shifting my energy away from fear and scarcity and choosing to look for the opportunity — even when I could barely see it through my tears.

What This Means for You

I’m not telling you this to show off or make my story seem shiny and perfect. It’s not. It’s messy and raw, and there were plenty of moments when I wanted to crawl into bed and never come out.

I’m telling you because you have your own doors waiting. And they’re probably hidden in places you’d never expect — within the cracks of the hard stuff, buried under the weight of the symptoms, disguised as setbacks.

The only way to find them is to shift your focus.

How to Start Finding Your Own Doors

Here’s how you can start reframing your menopause experience — no toxic positivity required:

1. Build (or Rebuild) Your Village

You need people who remind you who you are when you forget. People who will tell you the truth — not just what you want to hear — and people who see your strength even when you feel like you have none left.

Action Step: Make a list of 3-5 people you trust, and schedule a walk, a coffee date, or a call with them this month. Don’t wait until you’re drowning to ask for support.

And if you’re looking for a supportive space where women are navigating the same menopause maze, you’re always welcome to check out the Respin community — it’s a space built to uplift, connect, and help us all figure this out together. Explore here.

2. Identify What’s Draining Your Energy

Are you fighting battles you don’t need to fight? Spending energy on things you can’t control? Often in midlife, we get caught up trying to fix everyone and everything around us, forgetting that our energy is finite.

Action Step: Write down 3 things that are draining you right now. Then, for each one, ask: Do I need to be the one handling this? If not, delegate, pause, or let it go entirely.

3. Reframe the Narrative

Menopause isn’t an ending. It’s a transition — and transitions are notoriously uncomfortable. But discomfort doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re being asked to evolve.

Action Step: Write down one belief you have about menopause that feels limiting or negative (e.g., “My body is falling apart.”). Then rewrite it as a neutral or even positive statement (e.g., “My body is asking for different care than it used to, and I can learn what it needs.”).

4. Look for the Tiny Doors

Not every opportunity is a Halle Berry-level event. Some doors are tiny: a new hobby, reconnecting with an old friend, trying a movement practice you’ve always been curious about. Small doors open into bigger ones.

Action Step: Identify one small door you can open this week — something that feels exciting, fun, or just different. Commit to walking through it.

5. Anchor Yourself in Purpose

When you’re lost in symptoms and stress, it’s easy to forget what lights you up. Purpose doesn’t have to be some grand calling — it can be as simple as staying curious or helping a friend through her own menopause maze.

Action Step: Ask yourself: What’s one thing I love to do that makes me feel like myself? Now, do that thing — even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

I won’t pretend menopause is easy. It’s not. But the truth is, the hardest seasons of life are often where we find the clearest invitations to step into who we’re becoming.

Even if you’re exhausted, even if you feel like you’ve lost yourself, there are doors waiting for you. They might be cracked open, they might need a little push, but they’re there.

The question isn’t whether the opportunities exist. The question is: Are you willing to walk through?

I hope you will.

Because what’s waiting on the other side — trust me — it’s worth it.

If you’re standing at one of those doors right now — wondering if you have the strength to walk through — I see you. I’ve been there. Email me ([email protected]) and tell me where you are today. Sometimes, just saying it out loud is the first step.