Let's Keep Talking About Sex in Menopause
May 02, 2023
After receiving an overwhelmingly positive response to the “Let’s Talk about Sex” newsletter, I decided that we are far from finished with this topic. I’m honored that many of you emailed me to share. It’s clear that this topic is not talked about enough, and that many of us, challenged by sex in menopause, initially thought something must be wrong with us. Only after sharing with others do we begin to come up with a more positive view of the situation.
Here’s a sample of the kind of letters I received–with permission from the sender:
Sex … is good, but it doesn’t come without challenges - dryness, UTIs, difficulty reaching orgasm, and the feeling of being “over a hill” that I know isn’t my hill but a hill that society kind of defined for me as a woman. What’s my worth now I can’t have children? Am I still sexual even though I don’t lubricate or orgasm the same? If my skin sags more and it’s dry? Or that I have this new-found no filter policy and speak my mind and truth [….]“how do I enjoy sex again?” “Where do I find myself again through menopause?”
Sound familiar? Here’s another:
“Like many women, I am experiencing some of these symptoms. And, like a lot of women, I thought there was something wrong with me. My husband and I are now working with a sex coach who–between herself and many books she’s recommended– has taught me/us more about the female body than I/we ever knew! There are many techniques we’re working on to mitigate the pain, and to increase the desire and communication around all of it. It’s a lot of work, but hopefully worth it ultimately!”
Most of us have a lot of assumptions about sex in menopause—assumptions we seldom question. But once we start talking to each other, it gets really interesting. The conversation moves from commiseration to inspiration, problem-solving and support.
As many of you know, I’m in the early stages of forming a community of women in menopause, focusing on quality of life. One way I envision coming together is through meetings I’m thinking of as Virtual Town Halls. I imagine a very democratic process–we’ll talk through a series of topics related to fitness in menopause, everyone will get a chance to ask questions or share, everyone’s anonymity will be preserved, and if you can’t make the meeting, you can still listen, podcast-style, to a recording. You can help me with this by participating in a little experiment–a Town Hall trial run on the topic of, you guessed it, sex in menopause!
A few days before the Town Hall, I’ll send out a self-exploration worksheet, a tool my Masterclass participants really enjoyed. To be clear, though, these worksheets are not the same thing as homework! Use them, or don’t–whatever works for you. Also, if you’re interested in this topic but maybe not yet ready to talk about it, you’re still invited. Finally, I’m offering this first Town Hall for free in gratitude for everything I’ve already learned from this community.
Please click here NOW to let me know if you’re interested in attending–I’ll schedule this soon to keep the momentum going.
This is going to be fun!
I love to hear from you. Email me with any thoughts, questions, recommendations, and ideas at [email protected]
