Dear Menopausers... - A Guest Newsletter
Mar 17, 2023
I'm so excited to do something completely new and different this week by turning this newsletter over to my longtime client, collaborator, and partner-in-crime, Robin Chotzinoff. I met Robin 15 years ago after we both had just moved to Austin. She was looking for a personal trainer, and I gained a lifelong friend. I started doing small outdoor camps in her garage, and over the last decade, we’ve grown an amazing group of women that somehow came together from different walks of life and are still to this day working out together. This group of women is the reason why I focused my Ph.D. dissertation on menopause and have been researching this topic ever since. We call ourselves the fitness fairies; they are my family away from home. It all started with Robin. Robin has also been incredibly supportive and helpful with many of my projects throughout the years. And with my latest project (more to come on this very soon), she deserves a medal for putting up with my madness. I quite honestly couldn't have done it without her. When I think I have it all figured out, she asks the tough questions, which makes me strive to improve. Words can't describe how thankful I am, but I can at least try: Thank you, Robin, and now, take it away.
****
Hello, fellow menopausers. I need to vent. Today, Dr. Maria and I were bombarded with yet another menopause “solution”, in the form of a solicitation from a (medical?) doctor promising to balance our hormones, heal our metabolism and claim our right to vibrant health.
At 64, I’ve spent 9 years in menopause, with 6 years of perimenopause before that, and I’m still waiting for scientific evidence that my hormones can be “balanced”--or that they’re “out of balance” in the first place. Remember when Menopausal Hormone Therapy was called Hormone Replacement? As if older women like me need constant mechanical tinkering, the way cars need new tires and oil filters. And yet, Dr. Maria confirms that metabolisms can’t be “hacked” or “healed.” As for “vibrant health,” who gave an Instagram doctor the legal authority to file that claim for me?
At the same time, I understand. No matter how much biology we’ve learned, menopause still somehow comes as a shock. When an “expert” tells us she can show us how to pick off our menopause symptoms one by one, as if with a sniper rifle, it’s hard not to listen. (And that sniper rifle just happens to be for sale!) It’s hard not to buy in to the message that we’re a little off, a little maladjusted, and that all we need is to not be as old as we are–and hey, magical youthening serum is also for sale!
Don’t even get me started on belly fat in menopause and diet culture in general. Really, don’t. I have all the regular insecurities and I know when they’re being preyed on. At best, these solutions are ineffective. At worst, they cause mental and physical harm. Who needs it?
Luckily, Dr. Maria taught me to focus on quality of life in menopause. Quality of life–including, but not limited to, menopause symptoms–actually can be improved. So I’m tuning out the hormone-balancing message and focussing on what’s actually within my power. Today, I may balance my bank account. Or balance my alcohol intake with my need for a really good night’s sleep. Tai Chi is good for physical balance, but then, so is slacklining, and that sounds like more fun. My hormones and I will make a date of it.
Thanks for listening.
****
If you have any thoughts to share, leave a note in the comments below or email me, if you're not quite ready for a public comment ;)
