Are You Losing Trust In Yourself During Menopause?

If you listen to all the “experts” out there, you already know that you should not do too much cardio but also don’t skip it, definitely lift heavy but not too heavy, include yoga but only the right kind, of course, don’t eat carbs but also eat the right ones, stop doing crunches because someone said so, etc etc. The list could go on and on. Are you dizzy yet? Nothing is more confusing and frustrating than getting constantly contradicting advice on the “best” way to eat and exercise during menopause. The “dos and don’ts” list grows daily and by design. You are supposed to feel as if you don’t know what to do. Because that way, it's easier to sell you something "groundbreaking," "never seen before," and "guaranteed to work." 

As I’m happy that we are finally talking more about menopause, I’m also saddened by the number of predatory messages that are aimed at women in midlife now. The menopausal market is growing rapidly and is worth billions of dollars. Everyone wants a piece of this lucrative cake. The way to achieve this is by making you doubt what you know about your body, by making you believe that your personal experiences are not as valuable as their “expertise,” that their products are the secret ingredient in the menopause soup that no one ever found before, and you absolutely need it! They know that the menopausal transition can be challenging and disorienting, and it is the perfect time to prey on that. 

One of the most common concerns I hear from clients is that they don’t recognize their body anymore, that everything they have ever known to work doesn’t work anymore. This is the reality for most of us. I say “us” because I’m right there with you. I’m riding the perimenopausal roller coaster and holding on as well as I can. It is important to acknowledge that this transition can be the most challenging phase you’ve ever encountered and seeing your body and mind transform without seemingly any input from you, feels almost like a betrayal. The marketing world knows this and counts on you feeling lost and looking for help. You can find thousands of “secrets to menopause weight loss” and “special menopause diet” ads promising the oh-so-sought-after drop in weight. Despite their claims, I want you to know that there is nothing that they can sell to help you “hack” or “control” your body. Approximately 45 million Americans go on diets each year and spend $33 billion on weight loss products.  The global fitness challenge market is estimated to be around $2.3 billion. Those challenges are often tied to who loses the most weight in a specific time frame. We all remember The Biggest Looser show and its impact (not a good one). The basic fact is that if you can’t sustain the things that bring the change, it won’t last. You’ll gain all the weight back and some. And that’s not the worst. If you want to read more about the consequences of dieting, check out my post on that.

You may be tempted to try that new diet, exercise equipment, or training technique that will miraculously turn your goals into reality, but those don’t exist. What works for you is different than what works for someone else. No one knows YOUR SECRET INGREDIENT better than YOU. I’m here to ask you to mute all of those trying to make money off you by selling you the next snake oil. I want you to start trusting yourself, take more time to reconnect with yourself, and consider what you already know. This will help you find your own way to make it through this transition in a positive way. 

You didn’t make it to this stage of life without learning a few things about yourself! 

To help you get started on this journey, here are some questions. Find a comfortable place to sit, your favorite beverage, and a pen and think about your answers to these questions: 

1. What matters most to you? Why?

2. What are some workouts/movements you have tried in the past that you really enjoyed? Think way back and write them down. I recently reconnected with my love for racquetball and roller skating. Somewhere along the line, I just forgot that I loved them. It’s easy, life gets in the way. But this is what this exercise is about. 

• What about them did you enjoy? 
• Are you still doing it? If not, why not? 

 3. What is an activity that clears your mind and makes you feel happy, at peace, or relaxed? Why do you find it so enjoyable?

4. Do you enjoy how you spend your free time? 

• If yes, what makes it so joyful?
• If not, why not? 

 5. Are you contemplating a new diet although you already know that diets don’t work? 

• If they did why are you contemplating a new one? Shouldn’t one be enough if they work?

• How many diets have you been on? 
• Have they “worked”? 
• If they haven’t, what makes you think this one will?

I’d love to hear what you come up with. If you would like to share some of the insights you gained from answering these questions, share them with us in the comments, or email me [email protected].